Intertwined
by Toccata No. 9
Summary: Nothing can part them.
1. Location

Disclaimer: I dunno, maybe I do.

Author's Note: AZ-woodbomb pointed out that I've been falling short in my ability to write tiny fics. I'm very sorry AZ. Hopefully this series will make it better. :')

Location

"Batman!" Shouted Oswald Cobblepot, fumbling for his umbrella gun. "What are you doing here?"

"There's something you should know Penguin," growled the vigilante, blackest night beneath the glow of office lamps.

"What?"

"I need you now."

There was an extended pause. Neither man moved or blinked.

"Roof or desktop, Bats?"


	2. Demonstration

Demonstration

It was dark on the night Hugo Strange died, and Jonathan had free range of the house. His steps were sure and steady for the first time in weeks, head held high, hands at his side.

He opened the door, mouth twitching. "Hello, my dear. It's done."

The mannequin smiled.


	3. Defiance

Defiance

"W-W-Waylon! Stop it, what will Mr. Scarface say?"

Killer Croc shifted, scales and spines glistening with water or something else as he bared his teeth at the smaller man. It might have been a grin. Might have.

"What we do in our spare time is nobody's business, Arnie. Come here."


	4. Obstruction

Obstruction

"I do not think we can do this, Mr. Bullock."

"What's the problem Vic?" The detective propped his head on his hand where he sat, eyebrows knitting in confusion and concern. "It's not yer wife, is it?"

"Hardly." Victor closed his legs, averted his eyes. "My equipment has simply been…malfunctioning."


	5. Triumph

Triumph

The Joker lay panting in Wayne Manor, sweat on his skin and a smile on his face. There were several hours left until dawn and for once a guarantee of no interruptions.

"A little champagne, darling?"

"Why, don't mind if I do Jeeves," answered the clown before taking a lot.


	6. Infatuation

Author's Note: Last pairing was split in favor of something that felt crackier. Chapter 6 is also new.

Infatuation

"Oooooh…say it again, pookie-bear!"

Harley listened to her lover laugh, a low rumble from the pit of his stomach. He wasn't wild or uncontrollable the way J was, but there's something very sweet about it anyway.

"Solomon Grundy, born on a Monday…"

She squealed and flung herself into his arms.


	7. Perfection

Perfection

"You're adorable, Edward."

He groaned, hands on his partner's hips. "Again."

The figure leaned in, red hair arranged just so, and kissed him. "You're adorable, Edward."

A giggle. "We should have done this much sooner."

Clayface grinned the grin of an appreciated artist. "Agreed."

_Nobody_ plays a better Riddler than him.


	8. Deviation

Deviation

_SMACK!_

Sewer King made a noise through his teeth that was half-laugh, half-whimper—curling more tightly around his prize. Nude, eyes glistening with tears of pain and ecstasy, he managed to gasp out three words to his assailant.

"Try harder…dear."

Bane frowned. "If you're certain. But first, **_give back Osito__.__"_**


	9. Yearning

Yearning

She admired her crush from afar. So tall, dark, well-built, in control, perfectly rational… unlike her. _She_ was not beautiful. _She_ had a reputation for unpredictability. The quintessential eccentric. Mysterious.

Eventually, a burst of fiery passion drew them together. Arkham spread her doors wide for Blackgate's prisoners and thought, "_FINALLY!"_


	10. Spontaneity

Spontaneity

"What," purred Catwoman, straddling her prey as she leaned toward his face, "should I do with you?"

"I…" he spluttered, cheeks reddening, "I-I'll…surprise me?"

She wrapped her teeth around his ear delicately. He yelped. She chuckled. "I'm sure you can do better than that, Dr. Langstrom," she murmured, "Be creative."


	11. Presentation

Presentation

"I'm not goin' through with this!"

"Please Mr. Scarface," said Hugo patiently, "it would make our experience so much more enjoyable."

"For yous maybe, but I wanna know my guy's not after just any hunka wood!"

He kissed the puppet tenderly. "_Batman_ doesn't look half so good in that cowl."


	12. Exchange

Exchange

"Ooooh…it's _perfect, _Temple."

Clock King felt his stomach come alive with butterflies in a way that hadn't happened since his school years. He smiled shyly. "Yours is bigger."

"But yours has the most satisfying shape." There was a pause. The Mad Hatter grinned wickedly. "Why don't you try mine on?"


	13. Responsibility

Author's Note: Got three or so pairings left that I could think of. XD Wanted to get 'em all done on April Fool's day, but alas!

* * *

Responsibility

"…What?"

"I'm pregnant, Vic." Black Mask delivered a very pointed glare. "And yeah, it's definitely your fault."

"But…" Zsasz found himself at a loss for words. "But you can't DO that!"

"Well then how about you try explaining where_ you_ figured it out, hm? 'Cause I'm knocked up. You **bastard**_._"


End file.
